writers block productions

Life as an Art Form
A Column about the Complexities of Life in the Twenty-First Century
by John Wingspread Howell, M.Div., LCPC
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Next Election, Vote for Yourself  

As a therapist, I frequently encountered people—especially women—in the Emergency Room after either threatening or attempting suicide. More often than not, their decision to end their lives was rooted in what they considered an impossible situation, one of those double damned rock and hard place situations in which they betray themselves or betray a significant other. Rather than betray the significant other, they shrink back from following their own dreams. Rather than betray themselves, they chose suicide over life in emotional jail.

That sounds like twisted thinking, and it is in many ways, but in one sense it isn’t. They didn’t want to live in the chains the person who claimed to love them “so much” wanted to wrap them in. They didn’t want to live through disappointing the other person either, partially because from past experience they realized it would be more than disappointment. It would be emotionally unbearable to see the other person’s over-reaction. What am I talking about?  More

Food, the Future, and the Fundamentals of the Economy

Pretend with me for a moment that I’ve invited a few people to my home to celebrate the holidays this year. Four out of five sound pretty depressed.

So here we are, my five new cousins and I, sharing Beef: Jan and Emily up from California, Matt from Tulsa, Dean from St. Paul, and Char from here in Chicago.

Dean’s doing well. His business is designed to profit from the down economy. He owns a credit repair company.

Jan, a regional manager for a national accounting firm says, “I’m feeling very frustrated by the economy since it’s I can’t do the things I used to do without even thinking, like shopping or taking the kids to a movie.

Matt, who owns a small manufacturing company says, “I’ve had to lay off some of most experienced and faithful employees. I hate having to do it, but I have to think ahead. If things keep going as they are, the business might fail.”

Emily, a stay home Mom says, “Our entire lives have been turned upside down by the economic crisis! We’re constantly worrying about losing the house or my husband losing his job.” (Note that until now at least, they have lost neither.)

And this is what Char says: “This down-turn has ruined my life. After twenty years my bank’s out of business and my job is gone. My retirement’s gone. I was a senior VP. All this time, I busted my tail for them thinking it would pay off, thinking they’d take care of me, thinking that if any job was safe, that one was. And now? Nothing! Where ’m I going to find another job at that level? And how long can I hold on? What if I don’t ever find one?”  More


Wishing, Hoping, Dreaming, Praying, and “The Wisdom to Know the Difference”

Previously we talked about the difference that attitude makes. Our ability to be happy, to be productive, and to enjoy life, depends on our ability to make the most of whatever we have without wasting time and energy wishing we had something different. Another way of describing the process of making the most of the moment would be to accept and adapt.

The “serenity prayer” used by the Twelve Step movement, captures this process beautifully. It begins: “God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change…” To tie this concept in with last month’s column I would paraphrase this portion of the prayer by saying: rather than whining, than bemoaning the hand we’ve been dealt, the secret to happiness and joy is to accept the givens, the things we can’t change, and to adapt to that reality by making the most of what is.  More.